Best---and easiest---burger ever.

• 1 pound lean ground beef (you can use regular, but lean---less than 7% fat---is better for you)
• 2 teaspoons Penzey’s Barbeque of the Americas seasoning

Knead the spice blend into the beef. Form into four burger patties. Place under a flame broiler or on a grill for about eight minutes (for medium well), flipping once.

That's it.

This will be the juiciest, sweetest burger you have ever had. The spice blend tastes like the essence of a sweet barbecue sauce; mixing it with ground beef is absolutely heavenly and will create a knockout burger with almost no additional effort. Trust me on this one.

Questions You May, Understandably, Have At This Point

Q. Where are your galoshes?
I have absolutely no idea.

Q. Well, what the hell did you do with them?
I don’t know! I’m pretty sure I saw them in my room a month ago, before it started raining four times a week.

Q. How could you manage to lose a pair of bright blue galoshes with peacock feathers on them? A pair that you actually LIKED, no less?
I wish I could tell you. I really do.